Once upon a time, NYU had an orientation week for overeager 1Ls.  En masse, green 1Ls were warned about the pitfalls of blawging. In the middle of this cautionary tale, i don’t wear skinny jeans was given an implicit shout out when the topic moved to reasons behind mandatory fun and blawgers who playfully poked the mandatory fun bear. When the topic shifted to revoking scholarships from students for blawg content, I cringed (though I have no scholarship to lose). I immediately stormed through my archives to hunt for hazardous content.

Although my posts read like they are written by an infant who grabbed the nearest crayon and started scribbling in a journal, I censor posts. Given the indiscretion with which I write, you may wonder what I’m censoring (who knows!).  But I write this blawg under a sheer sheet of anonymity and try not to write posts that I’d be mortified of having tied to my name. Whether I’ve managed that is unclear (If you think any of my posts cross The Line, please let me know). The point of this digression is that the person who gave this speech of woe on blawging will be my professor for Constitutional Law next semester.

As mentioned before, 1Ls at NYU take Lawyering, Administrative and Regulatory State, Criminal Law, and one elective in their second semester of law school. At NYU, you bid on elective classes and leave it to statistical magic to decide which course you get enrolled in. I bid on Constitutional Law, Property, and Corporations. I was excited when I found out I got Constitutional Law for my elective.  Then I realized ConLaw probably frowns on my blawg and pictured this exchange:

ConLaw: idw, I mean, Student X, what do you think about this case?
idwsj: *yelp*
ConLaw: Don’t even think about blawging about this.

But I’m still looking forward to this class.

When You Say Nothing At All
*in a shocking turn of events, a girl approaches idwsj*
Cute Girl E: Hey, you look really familiar! I’ve seen you before, I think, but I don’t know where.
idwsj: I think I’ve seen you before as well. Did you go to School Z?
Cute Girl E: Yes! Maybe we had a class together.
idwsj: Yeah . . . umm . . . so . . .*how am I this smooth?*

True Love
Yesterday, I saw two kids (who were probably around 5-8 years old) walking down the street. Mid-step, the boy tries to hold hands with the girl. The girl, without breaking step, brushes the boy’s hand aside and picks up the pace. The boy, disappointed, scampers after the girl. My heart sank.

I met my first True Love when I was in 1st grade. I remember precious little about my life in 1st grade, but I remember The Field Trip. For some reason, our class took a field trip to a farm. I guess taking kids to farms to see cows and play with hay builds character. When we got there, I found myself marching up the path to The Farm side by side with The Girl. Emboldened by the smell of manure, I decided to make my move. I asked The Girl if she wanted to hold hands. She said yes. We held hands for the entire trip. It was the best day of my 1st grade life.

Unfortunately, the relationship was short-lived. The next day, I decided to throw erasers at The Girl to express my affection which she, strangely enough, did not take kindly to. We broke-up. I wasn’t too disappointed because I figured sooner or later, we’d have to break-up anyway because of cooties. Few things in life are absolute deal breakers with your True Love, but cooties is one of them when you’re in 1st grade.

With a full heart,
i.don’t.wear.skinny.jeans